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[0:00] Is it warm, hot, cold in here? I mean, are we okay? Shum, behind you, of course, are the air con bits if you need to adjust it. Good to see everyone.

[0:13] I am very much wrapped up in layers here. We have a football game later this afternoon. Francis and I and other James are the strong defenders at the back. It's going to be a feast for the other team.

[0:27] It's going to be good. Pray for us. Aidan. Aidan. Just A. Aidan sucks, suck to you.

[0:38] Can we give a round of applause for Aidan, who's freshly married? Woo! Aidan and Erica. What a joy. What a wedding.

[0:51] I'm trying so hard not to say anything. Can you just, you're going to be asked this. Why don't you explain to all of us, describe to all of us, what compelled you to change the color of your hair.

[1:03] Start up, start up. I went to six sessions of three-year-old counseling. I just died. I just died. I just died.

[1:13] I just died. I just died. Spare a thought for those who have their hair.

[1:26] What a waste of work. What do people do with their hair these days? We welcome you. I'm so glad to have you back. We're talking about a very important topic today.

[1:38] A very simple one. A one that you all know. In fact, a one that the world knows. I talk about this. My favorite song of all time is the Black Eyed Peas. Where is the love? They're asking it. Where is love?

[1:50] Because the Beatles, a few decades before, posed the question. Well, it's a statement. All you need is love. And we've been talking about this. And last week, we talked about how this is growing. This is growing.

[2:01] There are people coming. There are people coming with their own experiences, with their own theology, with their own preferences. And they're starting to infiltrate the people that are meeting. To the point where some of them are starting to say things that are values of the world.

[2:15] And it's seeping into the church. And that's dangerous. Because people are saying, oh, no. This is okay. You can compromise in this kind of way. And it's still okay. Because Jesus loves you.

[2:25] Because your body and your spirit are separate things. So you can do anything with your body. And it won't affect your spirit. These are all false, by the way. And of course, I'm talking about the early church.

[2:36] I'm talking about the early church where people are starting to join this way. It wasn't called Christians. It wasn't called EFC, ZKFC. It was just called a group of people following the way of Jesus.

[2:49] You'd walk across someone in the street and go, hey, are you following the way? See, it's that how it was described. And as people are coming in, John had to write this letter and say, hey, with all these people coming in, I need to know that you know the truth.

[3:02] That you know which way we're heading. God is light and in him there is no darkness at all. And so the first few sermons we've had is dealing with almost the morality of what it means to be a Christian, to live in a world of darkness.

[3:15] How can God still be the light? How can you walk in the light? But he moves from the moral today into the social. He moves from the moral into the social because in chapter one, it also says, if you walk in the light, you will have fellowship.

[3:31] What he doesn't talk about at that point is, man, fellowship is hard. Why? Because people are hard. Have you heard the term or the description? Where there are people, there are problems.

[3:44] And so you've got all these people gathering together with all their different experiences, with all the practices they have. Hey, I like my music this way. I like my, I like the way, I like the sermons this way.

[3:55] I like to do small groups like this. I like to live Christian life like this. And suddenly you have all these people saying all these different things. And what starts happening? People start arguing. People start arguing.

[4:06] People start disliking each other. People start leaving the church. And that's where John moves it from the moral into the social because of course, they're connected. And he talks today about something that's really, really interesting, which is about the issue of love.

[4:22] And he says this, if you're taking notes or if you're just following from your Bible, as I always encourage you, if you have a paper Bible, bring it. I use it because it reminds me that this is the Word of God.

[4:33] This isn't just an app. This isn't just something for my sake that I can dip in and out of. This book transcends time. It has ancient wisdom in thousands of years and from the Word. This is the Word of God.

[4:44] So if you have this, please open it up with me. 1 John 2, verse 7. He says this, Beloved, I'm writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning.

[4:55] He's saying, hey, I'm not saying anything new. And I'll tell you right now, I'm not saying anything new. When you leave here, the thing that you're going to hear is, man, I've got to love. I'm going to love people. So this is not new.

[5:05] And what's he talking about here? He's saying, what's the old commandment? The old commandment is found in Leviticus 19. Leviticus 19, which is teaching the Israelites how to live with one another. And the old commandment is, love your neighbor as yourself.

[5:20] Put your hand away if you've heard that before. Love your neighbor as yourself. Put your hand away if you think you're actually actively doing that right now in your life. Love your neighbor as yourself. Don't be shy. Don't be embarrassed.

[5:32] Brilliant. I'm preaching to a hard crowd today. Okay, so that's what we're going to try and address. Because this is an old commandment. We know it. And maybe just to dwell on that a little bit.

[5:43] Love your neighbor as yourself. Of course, the two commandments, love God, rule your hand, soul, management, and love your neighbor as yourself. They're forever tied. When you love God, you naturally can't help but love people.

[5:57] When you love people, you're loving God. When you struggle to love people, it's probably because you're struggling to love God. Because your relationship with God isn't good, so therefore you're really struggling to love people. So they're intricately tied.

[6:08] Intimately tied. Love your neighbor as yourself. So this adds a third layer to that that I think is interesting, which is, how do you love yourself? Because if I'm telling you, hey, you've got to love your neighbor as yourself.

[6:24] So, Teresa, you've got to love Annabelle the way that you love yourself. Just to stop there, you're going to go, okay, well, I'm going to figure out how I love myself.

[6:35] If I'm asking Cubone to love Gavs the way Cubone loves himself, Cubone needs to love himself in a way that Christ wants him to love. But the question then becomes, how much do I love myself?

[6:47] Or rather, what is my relationship with myself? Because can you see how that impacts how you love other people? And can you see how that impacts how you love God? And so it starts with yourself.

[6:58] There's a quote from St. Teresa Avila, which says this. I think the one is going to put it up. Brilliant. Oh, it's not this one. That's Mother Teresa. That's a different person. Let me read it from here. Oh, there we go.

[7:10] It is foolish to think that we will enter heaven without entering into ourselves. How is your relationship with yourself? Before we even talk about loving other people. Before we even talk about loving God. How is your relationship with yourself?

[7:23] And you see, the problem here is this. A lot of us, the relationship we have with ourselves is heavily influenced by our family background. Very heavily influenced by how our family love does as children.

[7:35] Our family is the place where we get discipled. It's the way we get placed. We get nurtured into how we love ourselves. What relationship do we have with ourselves? What perception do we have of ourselves? It can be so when we're doing something really good, but actually our relationship with ourselves is not good.

[7:50] So even while we're doing something really good, we feel terrible. Love your neighbor as yourself. Confucius says this. To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order.

[8:02] To put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order. To put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life. We must first set our hearts right. Once you know and accept and love yourself, then, only then, can you love your neighbor in the way that Christ wants you to.

[8:23] And this is just a question that we're not going to be able to fully address today. But my question for you, especially if you're a part of a midweek group, is how do I love myself? How do I feel about myself? What is my relationship like with myself?

[8:35] Because I realize maybe that's the first thing that I need to think about. That's the first thing I need to pray about. Because that will impact how I follow the greatest two commandments that Jesus gives. Love your neighbor as yourself.

[8:48] And he says this. Verse 8. At the same time, it is a new commandment that I'm writing to you, which is true in him and in you. Because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining.

[8:59] So he's saying, hey, you've heard this before. You know that you need to love yourself as your neighbor. Jesus then says, actually, I'm going to redefine that. So John's saying, hey, you've heard that, but something has changed.

[9:11] What's changed? Jesus. Jesus has redefined that commandment. How does he live? He's redefined who a neighbor is. Because that law in Leviticus was teaching people how to love people who were just like them.

[9:22] Who were their neighbors, who were living together. Teaching them how to live harmoniously. But now Jesus is saying, hey, who's your neighbor? Can anyone think of where Jesus addresses this? Some smart guy asks Jesus, hey, who is my neighbor then?

[9:39] It's the Good Samaritan. And Jesus then gives them the story of the Good Samaritan. Hey, actually, your neighbor isn't who you think it is. I'll tell you who your neighbor is. Your neighbor is someone that you've been arguing with.

[9:50] Your culture has been arguing with for generations. It's someone that you are, the moment you're born, you are taught to hate. Jesus says in his sermon, love your enemies. So Jesus completely starts to flip this whole thing around and said, love your neighbor as yourself.

[10:04] Let me tell you who your neighbor is. Love, loving your neighbor is going to be hard. It's not someone who you find easy to love. Think of the person right now, and I won't ask you that.

[10:15] Think of that person right now who you find really hard to love. That's who Jesus is asking you to love. That changes things.

[10:25] Because our concept of a neighbor is someone that we have conversations with, that we enjoy their company, but it's not. Jesus is saying, love your neighbor as yourself. And your neighbor is someone that I'm going to define for you who will be different.

[10:39] And he's saying this. If you say that you are walking in the light, you cannot hate the people around you. If you say that you're walking in the light, you cannot dislike the people around you. You cannot hate the people around you.

[10:50] It goes completely against what you're actually saying with your mouth. Therefore, it makes you a hypocrite. Because God is light, and in him there is no darkness. And if you're hating, you are in the darkness, is what he's saying here. As I think about us here, and I think we're packed here with people, people who really enjoy each other's company, people who don't even know each other.

[11:11] The question I have all the time is, if someone walks in here, and some of you are new here, and I'd be fascinated to hear how you feel, is do you see love? Do you, even though you don't know the people yet, can you see people who love each other?

[11:30] Are we a group of people who love each other? Because that's going to be the defining factor as to whether God is in here or not. Doesn't that scare you a little bit? Doesn't that scare you?

[11:41] It scares me. I'm going to ask some questions now, so just, this is time to kind of perk up if you need to. Imagine this community is one of love.

[11:52] What are the signs that someone should see? What should someone see if they walk in here and they see a body of believers who followed the way of Jesus, who love each other?

[12:03] What should that person see? Any thoughts, birthday boy?

[12:15] We'll start with you. If they were known. Just simply, just for the fact that when they are people known.

[12:27] And not just by name necessarily. As Ellen said, it's by, if you've had a terrible week, people know. When you have a bad hair day, people know. Oh, sorry.

[12:39] My hand was just that way. It was, you know, you know, good. What else is there? What else is there? Suddenly, as you walk in here, and you're hoping to see a group of people who love each other.

[12:55] What does that look like? Acknowledging that you're here. There's a welcome. There's a greeting. There's a, I'm so glad that you're here.

[13:06] Right? And actually, it wouldn't be the same if you weren't here. And do we have that? Now, it's impossible to do with a big group of people who are 160. It's easy to do in your own midweek groups. It's easy to do when you don't see someone who's in your small group going, actually, I missed you on Sunday.

[13:21] Is everything okay? Like, that is, in some ways, love. What else is there? Jojo. Throw something at me. What's a sign of a community that loves?

[13:37] Praying for one another. Praying for one another. And, of course, in order to do that, you need to know the challenges that they're facing. You go, okay. Oh, actually, I've had a rough week. I just need some time. And actually, and it's not just sitting there going, oh, that's so sad to hear.

[13:50] Sorry to hear. It's, can we get to a place where, in our own, hey, can I pray for you right now? Can we not be a group of people that see someone and go, oh, I'll remember you in my prayers? Because I'll tell you, we never remember people in our prayers.

[14:04] Can we be a group of people going, let's pray right now. 10 seconds. 20 seconds. 10 minutes. Whatever we can afford. Let's do it right now. Because I want you to know that you're known, that you're seen, that you're welcomed, and that we care, and that we will pray for you.

[14:19] One or two more. Uday. You're my favorite guy to pick on. There's a deep level of care. There's a deep level of care.

[14:31] So give me an example of how, do you have a personal experience of what that might look like? yeah yeah and it's the thing that you've got going on in that week and that means it requires almost regular meeting hey how's this last week been because if we don't show up and we don't see each other for months all you can really say is how you've been and then it's just an impossible question to answer in a personal deep way right but it is hey i literally just saw you yesterday jay for breakfast how's these last 24 hours been like how's it been to be able to follow up like that to show deep care and i think one day i'd love to even for us to sit and actually talk about what does it mean to ask questions what does it mean to care for people to ask good questions to foster deep relationship what does that look like i'll tell you i'm trying to figure that out myself so john's writing and he's saying hey you gotta love each other because people are hard and being together is hard which they're having friends with i'm having dinner with friends last night and we were saying actually even just two people getting together requires compromise because everyone does things differently if you're living with someone it's just it's just different you just have different preferences so it requires compromise right right as you're now living with erica there's those things that there's things that you have to acknowledge that she does differently there's a different pace to things and the whole point of being together in a group like this is going okay the music's a little bit too loud for me but i'm going to be okay because the music's good for you hey this is my preference about how i get my jesus on but if this helps you encounter jesus that's okay with me too and it's not kind of as a group we have to as a group we have to later on the football field we're going to have to the people around you're going to have to make up for my weaknesses and so they're just going to have to go around okay james can't run anymore it's only been five minutes but he can't run anymore so here so now i'm going to have to cover for him that's a community of love that's the only way it goes and john's saying hey you've heard this before love your neighbor as yourself so my question is do you love yourself what's your relationship life with yourself and when you love others what does that actually look like and it's interesting he talks and so i want to briefly talk about three separate points here one is why should we love because john gives us some reasons here why should we love who should we love and how should we love okay why should we love who should we love and how should we love and so first of all why should we love john is so poetic now you may have struggled to kind of keep with this sometimes because one john he's just writing all over the place he's an artist he's painting with words and so it's kind of jumping around all over the place a little bit and in verse 12 to 14 he jumps into what i think is a song what commentators think is probably a well-known song of some sort or at least he's i would think he's probably jumping into rap here and here he goes i'm writing to you little children because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake i'm writing to you verse 13 i'm writing to you fathers because you know him who is from the beginning i'm writing to you young man because you have overcome the evil one then he repeats the verse again and he goes i write to you children because you know the father i write to you fathers because you know him from who is from the beginning i write to you young men because you are strong the word of god abides in you and you have overcome the evil one so he jumps into this little bit that's kind of like a song and he's writing to three groups of people he's writing to little children he's writing to young men and he's writing to fathers and he's basically telling them why they should love the first one verse 12 i'm writing to you little children because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake i'm writing to you to remind you to love because i want to remember that you were forgiven and that's kind of like the springboard to love if you're struggling to love yourself others god it might be to do with forgiveness

[18:31] if you're struggling to love yourself others or god it might be to do with the fact there's something inside you that is stopping you and that something likely is unforgiveness he's saying love young children because you've just come into the faith and how did you come into the faith because you realized you were a sinner because you realized that you need to confess and now you've been forgiven because god is faithful and just love because of that because your account which was in debt has now been completely wiped clean so you can love that's what he's saying and so love and forgiveness are tied so close so close here but i think for us as young christians that's the thing that we remember right i don't deserve any of this and yet here i am god forgave me and because of that i can't help but love and that's where the tie is and this is about the theresa quote that can uh bonnie you can put up here if we really want to love we must first learn how to forgive if you're like oh i really want to love i know love is the thing then the first thing is can we learn how to forgive can we learn how to forgive ourselves and thereby love ourselves can we forgive others so we can learn to love others can we work through that get through that martin luther king jr says this we must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love so if we're going to be a community of love it starts with us remembering as little children that our sins are forgiven because that's what springboards us into love that is one of the reasons why we love the second reason is verse 13 he says i'm writing to you fathers older people old men and he's saying because you know him who is from the beginning what's he saying i'm writing to you fathers who have been in the faith for a long time and maybe it's you've forgotten about all the journeys that you've been on look back he's saying he's looked back fathers and how you've known him from the beginning it wasn't changed nothing that is the point god is faithful god is true he is constant he loved you when he first called you to hong kong he loved you when he called you to start the vine he loved you when he called you to start kfci he loves you now fathers remember this love in your mature years show the young ones how to love god is faithful from the beginning and god is still the same now he's saying forgiveness is one reason why we love and the other reason is because you just have fellowship you know god and you know how good he is and so that's why you love and then to the verse 14 he talks to the young men those who maybe aren't right in the crucible of the christian battle right now living as a christian in darkness fighting fighting for purity fighting to love and he's saying hey you guys i'm writing to you and when because you have overcome the evil one he's writing in this perfect tense saying you have already overcome the evil one what's the reason to love because there is already victory you love from victory you love because jesus has won and he has overcome so you can you're free to love and so as we fight this battle we remember that actually he is the one who is one he prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies those of you who are still in the grind fighting do you understand the concept that jesus has prepared a table for you in the presence of his enemies so that boss that is really giving you a lot of grief that lifestyle that work that value that is really kind of being an enemy to you jesus saying hey come sit down we don't have to worry about that we don't have to worry about that you can love because the victory already has been won you have already overcome the evil one because of me and he talks to these people the little children he talks to the fathers and he talks to the young men the question therefore is who should we love and i love

[22:35] this because in this little rap he has he refers to these three different groups of people but what does that really tell me it tells me that he's telling us to love as a cross-generational church as a cross-generational church of young and old that's what he's saying because so often in society with dividing right oh this is a young people church this is an old person church and so john's saying here he's writing to all of them as if just to show us hey it's supposed to be all together everyone is supposed to learn how to love one another the young ones lay down your pride you don't know everything there is something that those who are older will be able to teach you even if you don't truly respect who they are right now there is something that you can learn from them so would you humble yourself young man tim keller was the one who said if you look back on the yourself five years ago that person looks pretty stupid right because that's kind of just the general trajectory of humans if you look back on yourself five years ago it was a very different person so therefore if we use that same rule the five years you from now is going to look back on you right now and think you're pretty stupid so therefore there's something that you don't know there's something that you're going to learn there's something that you're going to learn so therefore the best way the best approach is to be humble right now would you just humble yourself young men old men you have so much to teach you have so much to be able to bless and of course it's not just men it's women it's it's just people who are more seasoned in life you have so much to teach so much to teach and as we pour into this next generation you're part of this you're part of this generation that is pouring in to the next one that's the only way faith has continued all these two thousand years it's just being having people who are willing to pour into the next generation so whatever wisdom you have whether it's whatever life experiences mistakes you've had would you be willing to actually step into the person a young person's life and actually teach them and actually share with them hey actually i made that mistake let me tell you how i got through it and how do you do that do the scattering do the why are you christmas party that we're going to have do all the different options that we have when it comes to mentoring looking after people is are we willing to do that because we're supposed to be a cross-generational church that mixes together the problem is the more we get to know each other it's easy actually to love a neighbor from afar but as they get closer and closer then it gets harder and harder because you start to see some of the flaws and everyone has flaws and that's what we talked about at the gathering even last year right that book that i kept quoting from the boy the mole the hawk box the horse it's actually the more we get to know each other that's the more we love there is more to love some of you know i know what i don't want to tell you more about myself because the more i tell you about myself you're going to find out some pretty dark stuff and that's when you're going to start loving me the truth is that's completely wrong actually only when we know about those things can we truly love you so would you let yourself go and there is no judgment here there is no there is only grace if but would you allow us to get to know you would you open yourself up to people and when you do that's only then only then can they truly love you i speak mostly to the midweek groups here and actually i i'm i praise god because uh hank and i we were talking and we were going through the list of the people that we have in this community and we let's say we have 160 we have 90 plus people who are in small groups and i'm just so grateful for that because that's where that's a key component to the church this is just a celebration this is just the cherry on top but in those groups are we willing to open up ourselves that that quote that we always hear what you give is what you get that is so true here would we willing be willing to open ourselves up to be vulnerable to to show people deeper layers to ourselves and only then can we experience the love that he is calling us to because the truth is we were made to love we were made to be known we were made to love we were made to be loved and to love we were humans as flourish on our best when we are with people introverts are

[26:42] like oh i beg to differ i might just be better on my own and you know actually in your heart that's not true that there is some degree small doses albeit where you need people around you humans were designed from community and for community and that's the only way we flourish i was reading a book recently um by malcolm gladwell called outliers who's read that book before great book fascinating book loads of cases of really interesting things about i mean of course i guess i'll spoil it for you the whole point is that there are people who are really perceived to be outliers in the world who are extra special and extra geniuses in the truth they're not it's just people who maybe have different gifts maybe different levels of gifts but so much of it is down to timing down to luck down to effort all these things and actually um there is no such thing in some ways it's kind of disgrace but he talked about this one community of people that i thought was really fascinating i don't know if you heard about it it's it's a it's a group of people uh in rosetto has anyone heard about this uh there's a community italian people who moved over to america and they settled into the small town uh near pennsylvania and what they actually found was this small community of people about 2 000 people or so they had an incredibly low rate of heart disease in a season where everyone's dying of heart disease yet in this one community it was virtually impossible to find anyone under 50 or 60 who died from heart disease and the most people who died even in the later years died because of just old age and it was just this one community and it was fascinating it's interesting so they studied it and they found something that was really fascinating i'll read you a quote it's a little bit long it's not on the screen here um and this is what they found finally after a long stay in rosetto wolf and sociologist john brun sought the mystery of the rosettans rather than genetics diet or geography the social structure and culture of the rosettans were the core reason for their long and happy lives it wasn't the diet it wasn't the lifestyle the exercise that they were doing in fact they were eating all kinds of food they were smoking and the lifestyle was not deemed to be healthy yet it was the social structure and culture that did it the rosettans lived in close-knit communities reminds me when aiden and i talked about what what does it mean to live in a as a christian what does the church really mean it's that we believe that the christian faith is lived out in close-knit community the resistance lived in close-knit communities they loved each other and took every opportunity to engage as a community the local clubs organizations potlucks and more were routinely well attended several generations of a single family often lived together the same roof several generations several generations being in the same room was the cause was the reason for the help a unique relationship existed between neighbors the elderly would naturally less stressed as there was always someone looking out for them because of the cordial relationship between family and neighbors they reached out to those across the street more than locking themselves in they preferred backyard bingo over indoor entertainment activities and like our generation we like to stay in and watch netflix every evening in rosetto was like a festival people cooking for one another joining tables and having dinner together in the front yard lively stories and songs used to go on till midnight result stress levels were so low they were practically off the charts in a good way and life spans reflected the unique comfort level it became a phenomenon referred to as the rosetto effect by which a close-knit community experiences a reduced rate of heart disease and extended life span oh i know they may not be christian necessarily but that's that's the hope for a community that chooses to to hang out to do different things together recognizing the importance of community and in order to get community there must be love there must be love that's the only way it happens because it's almost impossible there are people in here that were not the church were not the christ you would not want to hang around with that's all but because of christ you are willing to love you're willing to spend time with do you share that

[30:48] vision for community if you do i invite you in and i ask you to invest because that's the only way because all it would take is someone in this rosetta community to kind of you know what i'm not going to come out just going to do my anything i've got different things that i need to do and then that breaks down are we willing to be that community where we're willing to invest in one another it reminds me of another show uh not sure uh it's on netflix called live to 100 who's watched that live to 100 julian you watch that can you give us the premise for it yeah yeah it's about it's about um different practices that lead to longevity in life they tracked and went around the world to see which places in the world have people living up to 100 and they found some interesting and then they just basically researched and tracked it and it's interesting one of the places okinawa singapore is actually one of them there's a town in costa rica sardinia and they called these places blue zones where people are centennial centenarians and basically people who would live to 100 and they well what is the reason for that and it's basically they found the same things as the razzetto community these were the these are the findings that they had that the people belongs to community you live to 100 if you belong to community but you are more likely to live to 100 because you you belong because you have people around you who know you who welcome you who pray for you who care for you and who hang out with you and they said out of 300 people that they actually met only one was not based in the faith community 299 a lot christians were based in the community that pointed to something else beyond themselves that was number one number two they had loved ones around them in the sense that they lived in a home with grandparents and children that it was a community it wasn't just one demographic and there was love that was shared across generations and they had the right tribe the community that supported themselves through through healthy lifestyles where you have sports clubs when you have different hobbies that are happening where people get to enjoy and promote healthy lives isn't that interesting isn't that the old commandment isn't that it isn't that the whole message of god saying hey just love one another be together learn to love and love's a commandment why because it's hard we don't we don't naturally love why because we naturally want to choose ourselves we naturally want to choose what we want to do we naturally want to choose and basically create a life and it's completely of ours that's what we naturally want to do that's why it has to be a commandment saying love yourself neighbor as yourself and the final point i have is this how should we love because jesus doesn't just redefine that word that term with your neighbor as yourself he doesn't just redefine neighbor he actually changes it and john knows this because he was there because even though in matthew 22 jesus says these are the two greatest commandments love god rule your heart soul mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself and in john 13 just before he goes he redefines that he says love one another love one another but how not as you love yourself he takes it a whole step further and he says love one another as i have loved you so even if you struggle and understanding what it means to love yourself love your neighbor as yourself jesus then goes one up and he redefines it that's why the old commandment now becomes the new commandment he changes it as a new way to interpret it it's a new way to execute it and that is to love one another as i have loved you john 15 then says this there is no greater love what's the ultimate example of love that one would lay down his life for his friends and he changes it completely he blows the previous definitions out of water i'm calling you jesus is calling us to love each other

[34:54] in the way that he loved us and how did he love us and that's what florence read at the beginning philippians 2 who though was in the form of god did not count equality with god a thing to be grasped but emptied himself taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of man he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death even death on the cross that's how he loved us and that's how he calls us to love one another now that's a different kind of love of course the beauty in all of this just before you think oh that's way too hard galatians 2 also says it is not no longer i who live but christ who lives in me so therefore actually the way we love one another it's just because we can't love i can't physically love you the way jesus loved me by giving myself up for you but through jesus i can do all things it is jesus who's going to love you through me there's no longer i who live but christ who lives in me and christ is the one who allows us to love so how does that look like in the community it looks like just a group of people who want to love who live with open hands okay jesus show me how to love the people next to me and can you love the people next to me through me because i can't do it because each time i try i tell i think about it i want to do the other thing i want to love myself instead i want to choose my own way instead but your way jesus is one way you emptied yourself so i open up my hands and i empty myself would you fill me and would you lead me to love the people that you place in front of those two very practical things just to finish off because you might be like okay fine i'll start loving what does that look like do i have to jump in front of the bus for someone do i have to wait just try and save someone from the mtr and took myself on instead like what does that even look like in a community like this there's two quick things that i can see that jesus did here who though was in the form of god did not count equality we've got the things to be grasped but he came down one way is can we be a community that is willing to go out of our way jesus went completely out of his way to love us can we do the same i don't know what this looks like what does this look like what is going out of your way look like if you were to think i'm going to love someone now i'm going to go out of my way what does that look like grace what would that look like for you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's interesting because you talk about the the five love languages uh in order for us to know how to love people properly we need to know them at least a little bit not to not to girlfriend boyfriend spouse level but we need to know what actually how do they receive that love because you might do loads of things for them but they're like oh that's actually so actually it requires close to community it requires people who actually know each other you know what yes you say oh actually no james really would appreciate if i went to wash his car and and i don't know what his dog and wash his dishes i got it we got it it's us knowing each other and and actually all of that is going out of our way because you don't need to do that because you've got a massage chair and you can camp out there but you're going to go out of your way right so what does that look like for you as you go out of your way i was talking to ryan uh last week and he met someone uh in his neighborhood when he went out of his way he bumped into someone who was in need and he spent that time walking with them caring for them even though his cantonese is zero and she could only speak cantonese but he managed to do it he went out of his way are we are we people who are willing to go out of our way to do something that we otherwise

[38:56] would not do one more one more how would you go and live out of your way for someone what does that look like for you hey lee what do you got yeah yeah yeah actually there are some people who are particularly good at that like noticing the people who are left out in the room noticing the people who other people don't see because we if we're honest we there are tons of people out there that we somehow just human wallpaper to us we don't even notice right and there are some people who actually know actually even knowing where they are and choosing to go out of your way as part of the mission of are we willing to go to the fringe are we willing to scatter and go and find these people because jesus did what he went to go find our sheep and that's the same thing that we must be called to do as well and don't really actually all of you really tighten them the same point which is one for me going out the way second is just giving people attention giving people attention i think we really struggle with that giving people attention giving people time where we say hey in order to find out what your week has been like someone you need to ask someone like hey how was your week what's something that happened this week that is new that you didn't expect giving people attention undivided putting your phone facing down on the table when you have a coffee and giving them a call and say how are you i think that's rare i think in the world we have people who say hey how you been how's it going and then we never stayed to actually ask them that oh here how it's going and how it's been can we be people go how are you doing like can how's it been for you how was the basketball game last week tell me about it yeah yes the basketball no we're not going to talk about that that's it people ask us uh who won why is it going to be about winning right jesus won jesus won it's not about winning actually our two leading team won they're the winners you guys came and you made it sound like we won um would you love would you choose to love would you reflect on whether you're able to love yourself and if you struggle with that that's the first question that's the first thing that you share in your group i don't know what it means to love myself can we can i ask you to be brave to do that and then can you ask god who is my name actually show me someone who i really struggle to love like and can i love them one of this is so i can love god with all my heart soul mind and strength and would we be willing to go out of our way i think we are all posed opportunities each week where we can choose to go our own way but sometimes we think it's just easy to do well so we think it's easy to go our own way when actually we know we should go this way we know before we go home even though we're tired there's one more trip that we can make one more call that we can take just to care for someone just to love someone can i invite us just to spend a couple minutes now just to ask god for you to ask god because i think all of us as even just alex sharing there we're all built differently we all love differently and we will have different people around us can we take up this call this old commandment that was interpreted in a new way and lay down our lives and go out of our way and give attention to the people that the lord has called us to i'm just going to spend a moment of quiet reflection now just for you to ask the lord is there anything is there anything that i can look better is there anyone i can forgive that i need to forgive let's spend that moment now

[43:00]  jesus we we choose your way and we know that your way is one of love without your love for us you laid down your life you became poor so we could become rich but you died so we could live you became blind so we could see you have the father turn his back on you so that we would be found and that he would shine his face upon us we love because our sins are forgiven we love because you've been faithful since the beginning we love because you have overcome the victory has already been won so it's with that in mind that we commit ourselves to living out this commandment to following your lead we need show us lord who we can love show us lord how we can love them we thank you